Code

Code

Why'd you have to go and mess with my code?

You really messed up how it all flowed

Now I have no idea how it all loads

But I guess I have to take the high road

And not do something stupid like explode

Just why'd you have to go and mess with my code?

Dear Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

Why bring a child into existence
If you planned to parent with so much distance
Why bring a child onto this earth
If you didn't plan to treat them like they had any worth

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to loop up to you

Sometimes all I needed was a hug
And all you wanted to give me was a diuretic drug
Sometimes all I needed was to be shown some affection
And all you did was treat me like a deadly infection

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

You act like all I need is money
And then blame me like you're going into bankruptcy
You act like all I needed was things
And then you expect me to be able to spread my wings

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

I needed you to teach me how to get by
Not treat me like an annoying fruit fly
I needed you to teach me how to make do
Not treat me like a bag you could punch into

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

What angers me most is you didn't protect me from my brother
Come on mom you're supposed to be my mother
What angers me most is you didn't even care
That I struggled through life drowning in despair

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

Even once I had told you some of the things that had happened
You still didn't see a need to take any action
Even once I had told you I was falling apart
You still did nothing but break my heart

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

Now that I'm smaller you want to care
Is that somehow supposed to be fair?
Now that I'm up to your satisfactory
I'm supposed to shower you with flattery?

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

My biggest fear is coming true

I'm starting to turn out just like you

My biggest fear is knowing how you treated me was wrong

But that it's subconsciously what I learned to do all along

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

Sometimes I wish I could get rid of you indefinitely
But I don't have the heart to do that intentionally
Sometimes I wish I could teach you a lesson
Maybe even send you into your own clinical depression

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

You never taught me how to deal with stress
And I seem to only react in excess
You never taught me how to deal with emotion
Now all I do is cause a lot of commotion

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

I'm having to learn everything without your assistance
But I'm going to make it because I have the persistence
I'm having to learn everything a little late
But doing it on my own will be worth the wait

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

Now the goal is to erase what you taught me
To become better than you could ever be
Now the goal is to stop repeating your mistakes
And for that I will do whatever it takes

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

I'm no longer going to treat the people I love like crap
Just because I'm trying to fill some gap
I'm no longer going to transfer all of my wrath
Onto the ones I love just because they are in my path

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

I hope it's not too late to fix the mistakes I've made
At least I can realize I have debt to be paid
I hope it's not to late to show those I hold dearest
That I promise to no longer subconsciously break their spirit

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

Mom you deserve all of my rage
Because of how you put me in a cage
Dad you deserve all of my frustration
For not being a good foundation

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

I have to remember that what you taught me was wrong
That with you is not where I belong
I have to remember that my instincts are untrue
That I have to find a way to break through

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

I refuse to become you
I will force myself to pull through
I refuse to become you
I will be someone my kids can look up to

I hate you for everything you put me through
You're my parents, I'm supposed to be able to look up to you

Lady Bears

Lady Bears

Why it means so much you ask

Growing up it was like my oxygen mask

Instead of feeling all alone

I had to make a family all on my own

Win or lose they were always there

I had to cheer for my favorite bear

They took me in under their wings

Teaching me all kinds of crazy things

Running around like I owned the place

It was always my little piece of saving grace

The one thing my family could agree on

I almost felt like they weren't completely withdrawn

When the season ends it breaks my heart in two

Not just because they lost but because it was deja vu

Time to go back to being ignored

The unbearable loneliness being restored

Although they were always my number one team
That was never my ultimate dream
I gave them the love I always desired
The kind of love that for a child was required

A love that came with no conditions
Win or lose there were no intermissions
Even with loss my love grows
Because as humans they are exposed

But watching them rise over the years 

Has helped wipe away a lot of my tears

Seeing them become one of the elite

I believe I no longer belong in the backseat

They worked hard to go from last to first
Baylor athletics was no longer cursed
Now it's my turn to rise to the top
I can't give in I cannot stop

Why it means so much you ask

Growing up it was like my oxygen mask

I'll never forget what it helped me get through

Especially during the times before I had you